Doubt and renewal

For months doubt had been creeping into my feelings about Epona and the Herd Mothers. I hadn’t really noticed any of Her subtle touches in my life. I wondered if in taking time to get to know other deities our relationship was fading and I wasn’t sure if that was my fault or just a natural change.

Doubt is so much more common in people of faith than some like to accept. It’s a normal part of your journey to question and evaluate experiences. Sometimes the doubt gets so strong that you feel you have lost something. You begin to wonder if that being that you thought was so important is really there for you. Perhaps you haven’t seen any signs of them recently, not felt their presence. Perhaps you feel you have lost something, done something wrong or just simply been left. In some cases a relationship that was once incredibly important fades and comes to a natural end. Doubt is natural. Questioning your faith is a part of your growth. The beings I honour don’t want blind faith, they want you to actively choose them. However, sometimes they will take a back seat for a reason of their own, fade from your awareness and let the doubts creep in.

For months doubt had been creeping into my feelings about Epona and the Herd Mothers. I hadn’t really noticed any of Her subtle touches in my life. I wondered if in taking time to get to know other deities our relationship was fading and I wasn’t sure if that was my fault or just a natural change. I kept my devotions going even though at times they felt a bit empty. I also planned a trip that would be something of a pilgrimage for me, a trip to see the Uffington White Horse, a place I had been wanting to visit for many years.

In early March, during my weekly devotions for the Herd Mothers, while I was praying and in particular asking for healing support for a friend’s horse, my prayer beads broke.

Image of my original prayer beads

These were my first prayer beads made for me by my mum, restrung once before by her when they had broken through use. But I can’t get mum to restring them this time. I knew at some stage they might break again as I used them so much but for them to break at that moment was a painful shock. That connection to my mum has gone. I have other prayer beads, other sets that she made, other jewellery that she made for me too but these were special.

In that moment I didn’t know if they were broken as a consequence of my doubts or taken as a price for healing support.

I decided to draw three runes and the runes seemed to confirm to me that this was a price and not a kick in the teeth for having doubts. A forth rune fell down from the plate I keep them on to where I had placed the others and this strengthened my interpretation of this being a price. While this still hurts I have now accepted that this was a sacrifice taken in return for Her aid. The beads, none lost in spite of scattering on the floor, are in a bag on my altar waiting for me to know what to do with them now.

A few weeks later finally the time came for our trip down to Uffington. This was a family trip with my eldest choosing to stay at home for a first experience of being home alone while three of us went South. We had chosen Cirencester as our base for this trip which was more than visiting Uffington and it took us about eight hours to get there. We travelled down on Monday 4th April and returned home on Friday 8th April so we had three full days for more local trips.

The first was Uffington on Tuesday. You can’t see the whole figure from close up. Even from the car park area the top of the next disappears of the hill but still when I got to see my first glimpse standing on that landscape my heart swelled with emotion and I had tears in my eyes. I had made it!

We walked across the fields and up towards the horse itself. As we walked I spotted hoofprints on the path and felt the presence of the Herd Mothers in the land. There’s a rope boundary protecting the horse due to increased erosion but you can still get pretty close. We walked to the nearby Dragon Hill to see if the view was any better. It wasn’t but the winds were wild and cleansing. As we walked down Dragon Hill to climb the other side of Whitehorse hill I noticed a fresh twig of blossoming blackthorn on the ground. I’m sure it hadn’t been there when we went up the path to the top of Dragon Hill. It was freshly broken off from the blackthorn it came from and dropped there like a gift. I carried it away with me. And on Whitehorse hill I made an offering to the spirits of that landscape thanking them for the gift.

From there we walked to the structure known as Uffington Castle. It’s a large hill fort probably originally built in the bronze age and inhabited into and throughout the iron age. It’s one of the largest hillforts I’ve experienced so far and a very impressive location. I was pulled towards the centre of the hillfort area and felt the need to sing out wordlessly for a time. I made another offering before leaving.

After that we returned to the car to get our packed lunch before walking to Wayland’s Smithy. Wayland’s Smithy is a restored Neolithic long barrow about a mile and half away from Whitehorse Hill. It’s surrounded by some beautiful beech trees. I found the presence there to be quiet and gently welcoming. And although it had nothing to do with Wayland or was ever a smithy the links have encouraged someone to add a horseshoe to a fallen beech log near the front of the tomb.

Image of horseshoe attached to a fallen log near the front of Wayland’s Smithy long barrow

Needless to say it felt appropriate to make an offering there too and I poured a little wine from my hip flask over the horseshoe.

It was a good day and by the end of it I felt a sense of renewal in my relationship with Epona and the Herd Mothers which has stayed with me. I feel stronger for this period of doubt and renewal and more trusting in my relationship with Epona.

Hail Epona! Hail the Herd Mothers!

Eponalia

Eponalia is the feast day of Gaulish Goddess Epona, the Divine Mare and in the time of the Roman Empire it was celebrated on ‘XV Kalendas Ianuarius Eponae’ (from http://epona.net/inscriptions.html). This date translates in the modern calendar to 18 December.

Epona is one of the few, if not only, Gaulish deities adopted into the Roman calendar of celebrations in Her own right and that honour is due in a large part to the importance of the Roman cavalry. For me, and some Brythonic polytheists, Eponalia marks the first of the winter festivals. The others being the winter solstice (usually 20/21 December) followed by Midwinter, Yule or Christmas on 25 December and then the New Year festivities. Some of these festivals are more spiritual than others depending on personal inclinations and family commitments.

Eponalia for me is a quiet time. It is a pause between attending school Christmas activities, preparing for family gatherings and the festivities of winter solstice and midwinter, Yule or Christmas. Eponalia is a time to reflect, to remember, to acknowledge and honour the darkness and to honour Epona Herself, whom I love deeply.

In past years, when I was working, I have made donations to horse related charities for Eponalia. Two years ago I had my first Eponalia where I could spend some time among horses and ponies. I’ve loved horses and ponies for as long as I can remember but for various reasons have not been able to spend much time around them or learn how to ride them until relatively recently. To be able to spend time at a stable yard among the horses and ponies there helping out with the range of the usual activities that take place in a stable yard was a wonderful gift and not one I will forget in a hurry. That occasion was also the first time I have had a horse stand on my foot with enough weight to leave a bruise. He really didn’t want me to clean that particular hoof out!

Regardless of anything else part of my Eponalia celebrations include my devotional activities at my home shrine. These usually take place in the evening when the day has quietened. Before I start I decide on what I will offer as a libation to Epona and bring that over to the shrine. I also get out an old flat pillow that I use to kneel and sit on when I am at my shrine and put it into place. I light a rose scented incense stick and as I waft the smoke around my shrine and around myself I begin to sing:

“Epona, Eponina, Ipotia,
Epona, Eponina Ipotia,
Atanta,
Dibonia,
Vovesia,
Catona”

I then kneel before the shrine and sing my Hymn to Epona.

Once I am finished singing I pour out my libation saying something like “ I offer this wine/mead/juice to you Epona, to you I make this offering.”

Then I move into a cross legged seated position and with my prayer beads say the following prayer:

“Hail Epona Rigantona! Rhiannon, Epona Hail! Herd Mothers Hail!

Epona of Horses, I praise you!
Rhiannon of the Land, I praise you!
Epona of Sovereignty, I praise you!
Rhiannon of Journeys, I praise you!
Epona of Stables, I praise you!
Rhiannon of the Otherworld, I praise you!
Epona, Great Mother, I praise you!
Rhiannon of the Singing Birds, I praise you!
Epona Rigantona, Rhiannon, Epona, Herd Mothers, guides, guardians and teachers, I praise you!

Epona of Horses, I honour you!
Rhiannon of the Land, I honour you!
Epona of Sovereignty, I honour you!
Rhiannon of Journeys, I honour you!
Epona of Stables, I honour you!
Rhiannon of the Otherworld, I honour you!
Epona, Great Mother, I honour you!
Rhiannon of the Singing Birds, I honour you!
Epona Rigantona, Rhiannon, Epona, Herd Mothers, guides, guardians and teachers, I honour you!

Epona of Horses, I thank you for your presence in my life.
Rhiannon of the Land, I thank you for the stability in my life.
Epona of Sovereignty, I thank you for the choices you bring to my life.
Rhiannon of Journeys, I thank you for your guidance through my life.
Epona of Stables, I thank you for the security in my life.
Rhiannon of the Otherworld, I thank you for the mysteries in my life.
Epona, Great Mother, I thank you for your nurturing presence in my life.
Rhiannon of the Singing Birds, I thank you for the beauty you bring to my life.
Epona Rigantona, Rhiannon, Epona, Herd Mothers, guides, guardians and teachers, I thank you for being with me through my life.

Hail Epona Rigantona! Rhiannon, Epona, Herd Mothers Hail!”

Then I sit for a while in silence and think about Epona and what She means to me. I also spend some silent time keeping my mind as calm and clear as I can to see if anything comes forward.

This simple ritual is one I have gradually developed over a few years and I use it every week in my devotions to Epona as well as on Eponalia itself. It’s adaptable to group ritual as well and I have led a group version of it in the past.

These typed words are not really able to convey the feelings I have as do my Eponalia rite. On this day I know that many others across the world also honour Epona. Some of them are people I have met, many more are those I only know online but there is a special sense of connection in the knowledge that others are also honouring Epona on this day.

A declaration

Today I ask you who read this post to bear witness to my words.

I am known as Potia, a name given to me on a journey many years ago and linking me to my beloved Epona, She who is my guide, my guardian and my teacher. I am a daughter of the Great Mare and of the Herd Mothers. To the Herd Mothers, Epona and Rhiannon, I swear to do my best to follow their guidance and to trust them. I have sworn to do my best to serve Epona and I renew that oath.

Last month I was claimed again. To the name I have used for many years I now add another.

I add to my name Nighean a’ Chailliche, daughter of the Cailleach. I have sworn that I will serve An Cailleach to the best of my ability within the boundaries agreed between us. In honour of this oath I will now cover my hair with a scarf or hood when I am praying before Her or serving as Her priest.

I am Potia Nighean a’ Chailliche, sworn priest of the Herd Mothers and An Cailleach.

This is my truth.

A death, a rebirth, a claiming

A Death

Recently I chose to support a particular kickstarter project for “Tales of Hopeless, Maine” and I chose a level of support that included as a reward a Hopeless, Maine obituary by author Nimue Brown. When I first chose this I did so because I thought it would be unusual and fun (which it is) but not long before mine was written Nimue asked me what name I wanted to die under.  That’s not a question I expected and it got me thinking about my various names. My birth name is Pauline and many people use that name for me including my husband. My parents call me Polly, my brother sometimes calls me Pic (short for pickle), my children usually call me mum. And among many Pagans, particularly Druids, I have been known as Potia. I have also had several surnames in my life, Pitchford is my fifth. So I had a lot of options to choose from for my “death”. After some thought I felt that it was time “Potia” died.  Potia was a name I took up towards the beginning of my journey into druidry. I have changed a lot since then.  It’s also a name linked to Epona via a particular inscription. My love for Epona hasn’t changed but I am not dedicated to Her alone.

I had no idea how I might die on Hopeless, Maine. It’s an unusual place where death is not always certain, where bodies are not always available to be identified and buried. Perhaps I would be stabbed by knitting needles or poisoned via a pot of tea. I never imagined the death I got or the headline: “Potia Pitchford defies explanation“.  To be taken by surf horses was a beautifully significant way for Potia to die, to be taken into the depths by the very image of one of my most loved deities. And yet for my death to be uncertain too. No body to identify or bury, just gone. This death has a strong spiritual significance to me that I didn’t anticipate. It was also published on Friday 13th and Friday is the day I do my weekly devotions to the Herd Mothers, to Epona and Rhiannon.  It was also a full moon and I now do devotions on full and dark moons for beings of ocean, seas and rivers.

A Rebirth

The druid I was, Potia, has changed. What I am now has grown out of the druid that I was. I am a priest, a tender of a shrine, a servant of a group of deities and sworn to two deities in particular. I have written of some of this in a previous post “On being a priest“. I have felt since writing that post that I needed to take on a new name, one that to some extent reflects the changes in my life.  Until this evening what that name would be escaped me. This evening as I sat communing with An Cailleach I received some guidance.  I need to check my understanding and make sure I can write it correctly. I’ve also been led to believe I don’t need to stop using Potia, this new name will be more of a descriptive surname if I understand it correctly.

A Claiming

“You are mine” She said to me this evening. I acknowledge that claim with the understanding that I am also sworn to the Herd Mothers and that any tasks She and They would have of me need to be balanced against the needs of my children.

 

On being a priest

This evening I feel twitchy in a non-physical way.  I feel as if I have forgotten something or I’m supposed to be doing something but I can’t think of anything it could be. This non-physical twitchiness is something that I am starting recognise more easily as promptings from those I serve to do something in particular.  This time I believe this twitchy feeling means that I need to write and, in particular, to write about being a priest.

This isn’t the first time I have written about priesthood but the last time was ten years ago so it’s probably about time I revisited this topic here.

Others have written clearly and in depth on a range of questions around being a priest. Most notably John Beckett has written several posts on priesthood the most recent one being “15 Roles of a Pagan Priest – How Many Is Too Many?“.  Also of fairly recent note is a series of three posts by Morgan Daimler starting with “Priesthood in Service to the Other – Part 1: The wide view“. If you haven’t read these posts I recommend you do so if this is a topic that interests you.

My thoughts on priesthood are coloured to some extent by these authors and to some extent by my own experiences and observations. There are a few public individuals in the UK that I feel embody something of what it is to be a priest. Each of them do this in different ways and some may use other titles.  I’m going to name a few of them and try and give some reasons why I consider them to be priests.

The first is Cat Treadwell and you can find her online at The Catbox.  She is self employed as a Druid and Priest.  Much of her work involves celebrancy but she also runs workshops, presents talks, offers divination readings, writes books and blogs and supports people on a personal basis too. Cat serves her community in many ways and is a public voice for druidry and paganism generally.  She does all this from a place of personal challenges and struggles with depression which she speaks about openly. I have still not met her face to face but hers is a voice that speaks from the darkness.

The next is Nimue Brown who writes at Druid Life. Nimue is also an author of books and blogs and she has also been presenting more talks, I’m not sure of she’s been doing any workshops.  My perspective of Nimue is of a woman with a whimsical sense of humour that has worked to overcome a number of personal challenges to get where she is today. She’s a mother, a folk musician and a keen observer of her local environment.  She is a different sort of Druid to Cat and I’m not even sure that she would claim the title Priest for herself but in my mind she is both Druid and Priest.

What these women have in common is that they are both Druids and both pretty public figures. They also both speak from a place of deep experience with extremely difficult personal challenges.

My next example is Dr Jenny Blain. Jenny is a retired academic and a Heathen.  She is a polytheist and animist with strong ties to her local land spirits or landvættir. It is harder to put into words why I consider her a Priest or in Heathen terms a Gythia. One aspect is her ability to lead ritual, another is her ability to share her knowledge with others both through her books and via more direct teaching but there is more to it than that. She is a Seidr worker, that in itself is not a simple thing to put into words as there are many forms of seidr. A basic and probably incomplete description is that seidr is a method of entering an altered state of consciousness which can be used to work magic or journey for various purposes.

My final example is Lorna Smithers. Lorna is a an author, poet and mystic. She has a deep and personal connection to her patron deity, Gwyn ap Nudd. Her priesthood is one of personal dedication and part of her dedication is a call to communicate some of what she learns and experiences through her writing and talks. She is, in my opinion, a priest due to her very direct service to her patron.

I could go on. I have deliberately chosen to highlight a few female examples of priests here but there are a number of men I also consider to be priests such as Damh the Bard, Adam Sargant, Phillip Shallcrass, Geoff Boswell, Robin Herne, Mike Stygal and Rich Blackett. Most of these are Druid types as this is the community I have been part of the longest. I’m still getting to know individuals within the Heathen community.  The main things they have in common are that I know them either personally face to face or online and I respect their opinions.

All of this serves to give a few examples of the complexity of what it is to be a priest. More recently I have started to think of myself as priest as well as druid.  I am not an author beyond this blog as yet (who knows what they future might hold). Currently I don’t give talks or presentations although I have in the past.  I can write and lead group ritual although I don’t do a great deal of this now. I have acted as a celebrant in the past too. None of these things are why I am using the term priest more lately.  I am a priest because I serve a number of deities and because I am a shrine keeper.

I am sworn firstly to the Herd Mothers and to the Ancient Mother I know as An Cailleach. I feel they are still training me and gradually making me ready for further service.  I also serve within my limited abilities Maponnos, Gofannon, Mannanan, Brigantia, Loki, Ran, Aegir and the daughters of the oceans. Some of these I have served longer than others, some I am still learning about but I honour them and give them offerings. This is why I call myself a Priest and Druid.

 

 

Herd Mothers

For a long time I have thought of Epona and Rhiannon as the same being. I have in the past preferred to use the reconstructed rhythmic title of Rigantona in stress of Rhiannon and have combined the names as “Epona Rigantona”. A bit of a linguistic mess I know as Epona is Gaulish and Rigantona reconstructed Brythonic but that’s what I have done for a few years now.

For those less familiar with these names Epona translates to “divine mare”and Rigantona means “great or divine queen”. Rigantona is a reconstructed form of the Welsh name Rhiannon so that name also means great or divine queen. It is the stories of Rhiannon in the “Tales of the Mabinogion” that link that Goddess to horses.

As an aside if you are interested in reading more about Rhiannon I can strongly recommend the Pagan Portals book “Rhiannon” by Jhenah Telyndru.

Epona has links to being a queen via some of the inscriptions left during Roman times where she is referred to as “Epona Regina”.

For a long time when I prayed to Epona or Epona Rigantona I only ever received the impression of a single being so I thought of them as one horse goddess with different titles in different lands.

Now I’m not so sure.

I’ve always known of others that saw Epona as a separate being to Rhiannon or Rigantona. I’ve tried to keep an open mind on this by recognising and respecting that my experience is not the same as the experiences of others. Lately my feelings have changed prompted by something Kris Hughes wrote and I can’t remember whether that was in a personal exchange or on one of her blog posts so I can’t quote directly here. Essentially though she said something about the horse goddesses working together as horses do.

Horses are herd animals, they don’t like being alone. Why then would a horse goddess be on her own if she could choose otherwise? Epona is often depicted in human form riding a horse BUT her name means divine MARE, not human who takes care of horses or other equines. Yes, as Epona Regina as human guise makes sense but even so she is still mare and queen.

Deities are not fixed in physical forms, this was a lesson Epona taught me years ago and I felt her laughter back then when I finally understood. I felt her amusement again when I suddenly realised that I had been thinking it was either one thing or the other and deities do not have to be one thing or another they can be both.

Just as Epona can be both mare and human in form so I have come to understand that Epona and Rhiannon can be both a single being and two separate beings. Not either/or but both/and. They can choose to act as one or split into different and independent aspects. It maybe that they do this with other horse deities too and if they choose.

For me Epona and Rhiannon or Rigantona have now taken on a collective identity as the “Herd Mothers”. The “Herd Mothers” may also include Macha from Ireland but don’t haven’t had any direct experience of this as yet.
The Herd Mothers can act as a collective or as individuals, the presence felt can be both singular and plural now that I am aware of this possibility. It’s not easy to move beyond initial ideas of deity into deeper connections and possibilities, it takes time, sometimes a lot of time and it will be different for each person. It should be different because this is a relationship and deity is only one side of that relationship. We, as individuals, are the other side of that relationship.

Hail to the Herd Mothers!

My gods are calling…

First it was Epona nudging to write a blog post and I did. Since Then I’ve felt Her more strongly and been thinking about Her a lot as Eponalia (18 December) approaches.

Then it was the Divine Smith with a mention of Sucellus as a possible Smith for followed a few days later by a blog post on Sucellos that got me thinking and then this one on Sucellus and Smith gods which resonated strongly.

Around the same time there was a surge of activity online about Loki triggered by a Wild Hunt column (this one). There’s so many options I could link to for blog posts and articles that followed this original article but the Wild Hunt have published this one about the Lokean Community and this one so-called Loki and the Resistance.

I often see posts about Brigid because I’m in Facebook groups about Her and there’s not been any unusual activity there or elsewhere about Brigantia that I’ve seen but today an Cailleach made Her presence felt via an unexpected post about Her. Maponos has remained fairly quiet so far too.

It doesn’t surprise me that Loki should use technology to make His presence felt more strongly. That’s how He first pushed into my life. It doesn’t surprise me that Epona should provide judges through contacts with other people, She has always been subtle with me. The Divine Smith though, using both personal connections and technology, that did surprise me. I don’t do any form of smithcraft. My only attempt at regular craftwork is knitting. I’m not the fastest or best knitter by any means although I am confident enough to knit things for others. So I still find it a little surprising that Gofannon  has remained a presence in my life. Perhaps He wishes to remind me to keep persevering with various things in my life, perhaps He likes my respect for the craftspeople I know. g

Three of the gods I regularly make devotions to are making their presence felt more strongly. They are each calling to me, not with a specific message but to be more aware. They are challenging me to take up those tasks that I feel I struggle with and move onwards. And I believe they are each letting me know in their own ways that I am heard and that I am not alone.

Patterns of Devotion

I have written in the past about my deepening devotional practices. Today I wish to share with you how my devotions have changed.

I used to honour my ancestors at the dark moon, Maponos on Sundays and, Brigantia, Epona Rigantona and An Cailleach around the full moon.

Then I joined a flame tending cill with Clann Bhride and began flame tending in honour of Brigantia every twenty days.

I can’t even remember exactly when after that point that other things began to change but at some stage I began to honour Epona Rigantona each week on a Friday. I chose a Friday because Epona is my beloved and Fridays in the past have been linked to deities of love (see Wikipedia Names of the days of the week if you are interested).

It felt good to be honouring Epona each Friday so I decided to start honoring An Cailleach on a Saturday. I was now honouring different deities on Friday, Saturday and Sunday plus every twenty days flame tending in honour of Brigantia.

Then Loki came into my life.

I used to consider myself to be solely a Brythonic Polytheist.

Then Loki came into my life!

That bit bears repeating.  Loki brought change with Him.  I wasn’t looking for Sleipnir’s Dam and I didn’t expect or invite Her (at least not to start with) but for some reason best known to the Bound One, He decided to bring Her changes to me.

One of those changes was that I started to include Loki in my weekly devotions.  At first I tried slotting Him in on Thursdays but that didn’t feel right. So I switched to Saturdays, prompted in part by something I had read that suggested Saturdays had been linked to Loki in the past.  I can’t remember exactly what that was now but I switched days and it felt much better.

But it didn’t feel right honouring An Cailleach on the same day so after a bit of thought I decided to move honouring Her to Mondays.  There are aspects in some of the lore which I believe indicate ties to the moon for An Cailleach so this seemed to fit well.

For a couple of moons I tried to keep the lunar links I had made as well but that became a bit confusing as I ended up trying to honour two different deities on one day.  For me that became confusing and I felt I wasn’t doing justice to my devotions to either deity when the days linked into full moon cycles.  I decided drop the full moon devotions in favour of the weekly ones for a moon or two to see how it felt and I’ve kept that change.

So now I honour different deities on four days of the week and another every twenty days. I’m also no longer solely honouring Brythonic deities.  At first I thought maybe Loki would be in my life for a set purpose and then maybe wander off but at the moment it feel much more like the Sky-treader is here to stay.  The current pattern feels good with one exception and that’s the ancestors.

In dropping the full moon devotions I found I began to lose touch with the lunar cycle and the pattern of honouring my ancestors at the dark moon began to slip as well.  I still have my ancestral shrine area and still think of varying ancestors at different times but the more ritualised devotions have fallen away.  I’m still not sure if I need to start on a weekly basis for honouring my ancestors or try and restore the dark moon practice.  I think maybe moving to a weekly based practice would work out best, if so I have my choice of Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday currently free of other devotions. Maybe Wednesday as that day has links to deities of communication.

My journey with devotional practices has not been a swift one but one that has gradually altered to a more frequent family of devotional practices.  And I know that I am still changing and that my practices will also continue to change.

Eponalia dreaming

 

I have had a wonderful Eponalia. I’d been nudged to set up a Facebook event for Eponalia to encourage others to join in the celebrations and share what they did.  When I first looked at posts yesterday I was having my breakfast and it was a beautiful experience to read what others far from me had been doing to honour Epona.  There were photos of horse companions being given extra treats and words that had been said while giving offerings shared. Looking at these things helped me focus my day more strongly on Epona right from the start.

As the day went on I enjoyed reading and sharing further posts when I checked Facebook and some of these gave me food for thoughts through the day as I did other things.

I sang (with croaky cold filled voice) and prayed during the afternoon. In the evening I made my offering of Berry Christmas wine from the Cairn o Mhor winery and lit a scented beeswax candle that was an Eponalia gift from my partner with him standing with me.

I made a last post on the Facebook event page before going to bed thanking others for sharing what they had that day.  It was such a privilege being able to share the day with others far and wide. I’m still glowing inside from it all.

And then there were the dreams…

For the first time in my memory last night I dreamt of horses and as yesterday was Eponalia I am a bit bemused by what little I can remember. I’ve been musing on what I dreamt on and off during the day.

During the first snippet I was looking after a rather unusual horse with a fluffy pale blue mane and tail and a woolly looking white or cream coat. It looked a bit like long sheep or angora goat wool. For some reason this horse had come sort of dark blue saddle on it but I wasn’t to ride it. I was looking after it for someone else but for some unknown reason I ended up in a car with the horse at my side and my parents driving. When we stopped the person I was looking after the horse for told me off for leaving, all I was supposed to do was watch the horse for her not go off.

In the second snippet I was in a cart driven by someone else. There were two horses pulling the cart, one chestnut and one a darker brown. The driver was going to fast and I asked him to slow down, I told him we couldn’t go that way as it was dangerous but he didn’t listen. We ended up with the cart almost going into the river and the horses had fallen in and gone under. I was scared they were dead but the heads rose up from the deep like the Kelpie sculptures rising up from the water first one and the other visible beneath the water swelling above his head. I remember being incredibly relived the horses hadn’t drowned and then I woke.

I’ve posted in a couple of groups on Facebook seeking opinions on these dreams. Opinions here would also be welcome and if nothing else posting about this here will record this for me.

I still can’t quite get my head around the idea of a woolly coated horse with fluffy pale blue mane and tail!

Honouring Epona Ritual

Last month I wrote about plans I had to host a ritual Honouring Epona on Saturday 3rd October in Glasgow. I had made a Facebook event for this and circulated it in a number of Facebook groups. I was also moved to try emailing Galina Krasskova about my plans and she was kind enough to add a post on her own blog Gangleri’s Grove about this. Somewhere Sable Aradia also saw this and she added it to her blog Sable Aradia, Priestess & Witch. I received a number of requests from people in various parts of the world interested in a copy of the words I had developed for this rite and hopefully all of them received emails from me.

I feel deeply privileged to have begun something that so many others in so many places have been interested in.

Here in Glasgow seven of us gathered at a venue called The Old Barn at four in the afternoon. The Old Barn is just next to riding stables so it seemed like the perfect venue for a rite for Epona. Indeed during the rite we heard the voices of the horses in nearby fields as well as bird song and at moments that fit beautifully with what we were doing. To me it felt as if the horses and birds were joining us to honour Epona.

One of those gathered had travelled from Preston to join us, another had become lost in the park next to the venue trying to get to us but reached us in the end around 4.30 pm full of apologies for being delayed. It wasn’t a problem, we knew he was on the way and we had plenty of time so waited for him to arrive before we began the rite.  Each of us had journeys of some kind to be where we were.

As is my habit I had a script prepared for the rite. It was slightly tweaked from the version I had sent out to those who had asked for a copy. However, as is also something of a habit for me, once we began I put the script down and spoke from my heart and my memory as the guide for this rite.

The rite was begun and completed with the sound of a Bullroarer. This is an ancient instrument that has been found in many areas across the world with a very distinctive and evocative sound. This was the first time we had used this in a more public ritual although my fiance (whose bullroarer we used) has used it privately a couple of times. Following that libations of spring water from the Campsie Fells were poured out for the spirits of the place we were in. I’ve been to the site before and had communed with the spirits then and been given the strong impression that they liked water which is why I had chosen local spring water for their libations. The area we used was a roughly square grassed area at the back of the Old Barn. I was moved to pour some of the water at each corner and the last bit into the fire pit that sits in the centre of the area.

A libation was also offered to Epona as part of the rite and initially I had thought I would use spring water for that too but a couple of days before I had the inspiration to use some of our home made plum wine instead.  This was our first time of making plum wine.  It was begun in September last year using Victoria plums from the tree in our garden and we had not yet bottled any of it.  The libation was made from the first bottle of this golden coloured liqued. After the rite we all had a taste of the wine, not from the portion offered to Epona I hasten to add, and it was rather good.

During the rite a cup of spring water was passed round three times. The first and third times the cup was passed round in silence.  The second time each person had the opportunity to say something while they were holding the cup.

At the end of the rite I asked everyone to connect by touching hands palm to palm with the people closest to the altar I had set up placing a hand on the altar and holding their other hand up palm out to connect with the person next to them.  I had deliberately chosen this form of connection as more regular local seasonal rituals often involve group hugs at the end and I am aware not everyone likes hugging.  Some are uncomfortable holding hands too so I hoped this form of not holding but simply touching palm to palm would be easier for anyone present who might not be comfortable with more intimate physical contact and different enough to help us feel spiritually connected for that moment at least. I think it worked well.

After the rite we moved inside the Old Barn and had tea or coffee with biscuits and homemade gluten free apple flapjacks.

I have pledged to do this again.  I am not certain when but I will do this again.  I always do something at Eponalia on December 18th and maybe this year I will use these words although probably not as a physical group rite as there are so many other things going on at that time of year.

After I returned home I read posts on Facebook and other places from a few others who had used the words with their own rites and at approximately the same time as we had gathered at the Old Barn.

Finally I offer below the wording I prepared for Saturday’s rite to Honour Epona. This was based on a prayer which I have submitted for publication in a book devoted to the Gray Mare. That prayer was in turn was inspired by another prayer published in the Clann Bhride Book of Hours.

If anyone reading this wishes to use or adapt the wording of this rite for their own use in honouring Epona please do.


Ritual in honour of Epona Rigantona

Set up altar area in north west with statue of Epona, quaich, chalice and roses. Possibly include candle and incense. Gather people into a horseshoe shape with altar area in gap. Invite others attending to add anything they have brought to the altar area.

Guide:

Today we gather to honour Epona, by some also known as Rigantona or Rhiannon and simply as the Grey Mare. For those who are unfamiliar with Epona her name means Divine Mare. Rhiannon means Great Queen and Rigantona is simply the earlier Brythonic version of this. She is known from inscriptions and statuary from Roman times mainly found across what was once Gaul but She was also venerated in other places including at the Antonine Wall in Scotland as evidenced by a altar found at Auchendavy and on display at the Hunterian museum dedicated to a number of beings including Epona.

Epona has very strong links to horses and ponies, those who work with them and stables. The imagery on statues of Her that have been found also link Her to fertility, sovereignty and the passage from this life to the next. Some inscriptions refer to Her as Epona Regina (Queen Epona).

To me She is a guide for all types of journeys from physical ones to emotional and spiritual ones. The Mabinogion stories include a character named as Rhiannon who has links to the Otherworld and has singing birds that can put people to sleep. It is possible these tales carry fragments of lore connected to Epona.

There is some evidence for an Eponalia festival on 18 December in Epona’s honour and I usually try and do something personal at that time at least. This is different though, this is something I felt I needed to do. Maybe it will start something larger, maybe it won’t but today we honour Epona.

Using a bull roarer we will now focus on attracting the attention of the local spirits and begin this rite.

Libation offered to spirits of place following previous personal consultation with them after bullroarer sounds.

Guide:

Together let us call to Epona and invite Her presence among us.

All:

Hail Epona Rigantona!  Rigantona Epona Hail!

Guide: Epona of Horses,

All: We praise you!

Guide: Rigantona of the Land,

All: We praise you!

Guide: Epona of Sovereignty,

All: We praise you!

Guide: Rigantona of Journeys,

All: We praise you!

Guide: Epona of Stables,

All: We praise you!

Guide: Rigantona of the Otherworld,

All: We praise you!

Guide: Epona, Great Mother,

All: We praise you!

Guide: Rigantona of the Singing Birds,

All: We praise you!

Guide: Epona Rigantona, friend, guardian, guide and teacher,

All: We praise you!

Guide: May our words of praise ripple out across the Land

Libation is poured out for Epona into the quaich and the cup is passed round for each person to sip from.

Guide: Epona of Horses,

All: We honour you!

Guide: Rigantona of the Land,

All: We honour you!

Guide: Epona of Sovereignty,

All: We honour you!

Guide: Rigantona of Journeys,

All: We honour you!

Guide: Epona of Stables,

All: We honour you!

Guide: Rigantona of the Otherworld,

All: We honour you!

Guide: Epona, Great Mother,

All: We honour you!

Guide: Rigantona of the Singing Birds,

All: We honour you!

Guide: Epona Rigantona, friend, guardian, guide and teacher,

All: We honour you!

Guide: May our words resound across the worlds.

At this point as the cup is passed round if you wish to offer anything to Epona or request anything from Her (bearing in mind that if you are asking for a gift you should return something at some stage) this is the time to do so either silently or aloud for all to witness.

Cup is passed round a second time for each person to sip from and speak if they wish to.

Guide: Epona of Horses,

All: We thank you for your gifts and your presence here today.

Guide: Rigantona of the Land,

All: We thank you for your gifts and your presence here today.

Guide: Epona of Sovereignty

All: We thank you for your gifts and your presence here today.

Guide: Rigantona of Journeys,

All: We thank you for your gifts and your presence here today.

Guide: Epona of Stables,

All: We thank you for your gifts and your presence here today.

Guide: Rigantona of the Otherworld,

All: We thank you for your gifts and your presence here today.

Guide: Epona, Great Mother,

All: We thank you for your gifts and your presence here today.

Guide: Rigantona of the Singing Birds,

All: We thank you for your gifts and your presence here today.

Guide: Epona Rigantona, friend, guardian, guide and teacher,

All: We thank you for your gifts and your presence here today.

Cup is passed round a third and final time in silence.

All: Hail  Epona Rigantona!  Rigantona Epona Hail!

Guide: Before we part can we take a moment to connect with each other? Please lift your hands and join palm to palm with the person next to you, not holding, just lightly touching and can the people next to the altar place their other hands on the edge of the altar.

Epona we thank you for your presence here today and bid you farewell for now knowing that should we seek, we can find you again.

We thank the spirits of this place for hosting us this day and bid them farewell as soon we shall depart.

Drop hands. Bullroarer sounds to close the ceremony.

Guide: This rite is now complete, I’d like to thank each and everyone of you for joining me here today to Honour Epona.

Food and tea/coffee to be shared.