Category: Community

The 1st Mycellium Grove of the Honourable Order of Mushrooms

Bursting forth in the dark heart of the Yew on 22 April 2023 the first fruiting took place. As Spore Mistress I now bring into the light the 1st Mycellium Grove of the Honourable Order of Mushrooms. Our Motto is:

 “From Shit We Grow.”

 We thrive in darkness. We reach out unseen to connect, to nurture and support, and to laugh. And from time to time we burst forth in bodies of weird and wonderful shapes and colours to send out our spores.

There are a few people I am hoping to infect with our spores and bring into this first Mycellium Grove. 

Join us! Let the wonder spread!

Thinking about colonisation

I am a member of a group called Heathen Women United and this year we have begun a year long project that links with the Year of Aun. Each month we are presenting a theme connected to a figure from history or the sagas and linked in some way to a being. We began this project in February with the figure of Uun the Deep Minded , Unnr one of the nine daughters of the oean deities Rán and Aegir and the themes of community and frith-weaving. In March we focussed on Þorbjörg lítilvölva (“Thorbjörg little-völva“), the deity Jörð (whose name literally means earth or land) and connections to the land.

This month our figure is Gudrid Thorbjarnardóttir, sometimes referred to as Gudrid the Far Traveller with themes of migration, colonisation and the Goddess Freya who according to the myths was part of a hostage exchange to end the Vanir-Aesir war and also travelled the world seeking her husband. While each of these figures are interesting in their own rights for various reasons, the theme of colonisation is what has triggered this post.

Colonisation is a complex subject and an often emotive one. It’s also something that very few, if any, countries in this world have not been touched by in some way or another through history. There have been many occasions in history when a nation first became powerful and then sought to expand into other countries, sometimes neighbouring ones, sometimes more distant ones. Frequently that expansion became hostile at some point with indigenous communities pushed out of their homes and abused. Native languages and cultural practices were often forbidden, sometimes for many generations leading to long term losses and sometimes the extinction of a culture and language. The traumas of these events often result in unseen and sometimes unrecognised multi generational wounds.

I live in Scotland. A nation that has had people forcibly removed from the land in some areas during the highland clearances. A land where the native languages of Gaelic and Scots were forbidden in schools and the numbers of native speakers of both has suffered immensely because of this. Similar events have taken place in other part of the United Kingdom. And yet Scotland is also still part of the United Kingdom, once known as the centre of the British Empire. Sons and daughters of Scotland, and the rest of the United Kingdom, were part of colonisation efforts in many other countries doing to others what had also been done to them and worse. Trauma begetting trauma and for many that trauma is still ongoing. A cycle that is known of in other areas of human interactions. I may not have been personally involved in the wounds of colonisation but there is a strong likelihood that at least some of my ancestors were.

As an individual where does my responsibility lie within these tangled threads? What lessons can I learn from history? Are there generational traumas connected to colonisation in my ancestry that could do with healing and if so how do I heal them? Or are have they already healed to some extent leaving old scars that should be acknowledged but not broken open again? I don’t think there are any easy answers.

And what of those whose colonisation traumas are still very much ongoing? At the very least I can to listen to their experiences so I can help my children learn. Maybe together all our children will learn the way to heal each other of these painful wounds.

Shit makes good fertilizer!

If you take nothing else from this piece please remember that shit makes good fertilizer.

I’ve said that a few times to different people and in different situations recently and each time it seem to have been words that those listening needed to hear. Life is never easy but the past few years seem to have brought blow after blow to many of us. There are days when it feel like you are struggling uphill through thick sucking mud, other days where it feels something in the universe has dumped a big pile of shit on you. For some it may feel like they are having to carry increasingly heavy loads that they don’t feel they can let go of for all sorts of reasons. Grief, pain, anger and fear buffet us like the winds of an unceasing storm. And it’s exhausting!

And so I remind myself again and again that shit makes good fertilizer. I’ve stuggled in the past, feeling I had to hold my pain and fear in, that I couldn’t let my anger out or express my grief. I was wrong.

I discovered that if I didn’t learn to drop the steaming pile of shit, or at least some of it, I would break down and for a while be buried so deep I didn’t know which way was up. I learnt to cry out my fear, to scream my grief out into the winds. I learnt that if I sever the chains that bound me to my heavy load of anger it would fall and shatter apart like a brittle rock and let out the tears of pain bound within. And I learnt that in release I began to wash away the shit clinging to me with my tears. I didn’t get rid of the shit completely but I was able to dump it on the emotional and spiritual equivalent of a compost heap.

Over time huge piles of shit break down and in doing so it becomes fertilizer that helps new things grow.

Patience, compassion and empathy can all grow stronger from the shit life throws at you. How to hold safe boundaries for yourself and others; what love and trust look and feel like; these things also grow from times when life kept throwing shit at you.

Let your tears flow and wash the shit off you for a bit even if it’s only a couple of minutes. Do it again and again if you need to, and you will sometimes. And breathe, just keep breathing.

And remember that shit makes good fertilizer.

Voices of Hopeless, Maine

I don’t think I’ve written about the mystical island of Hopeless on this blog before. For those who have never heard of it Hopeless, Maine is the creation of Tom and Nimue Brown and it’s an odd place with a lot of gloomy weather and tentacled beings.

On Saturday 22nd January an online festival of Hopeless Maine things took place called Voices of Hopeless Maine and you can read more about the what and why on Nimue Brown’s blog “Druid Life”. I feel very lucky to have been able to take part in this festival.

The event included poetry, songs, stories, music, videos of wonderful artistic creations and live interviews. Some pieces were written by Nimue Brown, some illustrated by Tom Brown, but many were creations of other artists that have been inspired by the weirdly wonderful place of Hopeless.

My own small contribution was to read a short piece by Nimue called To Ride a Surf Horse. Having watched and listened to the entire festival as it took place I feel incredibly privileged to have had the chance to be included with such a talented group of people. I’m incredibly grateful to all of those involved in the organisation of this event for such a wonderful experience!

If you haven’t heard of Hopeless, Maine before please do follow the links and maybe you too will be drawn onto this island of fog, tentacles and weirdly glowing eyes!

Edited to add that the videos from this event are now available on YouTube hosted by SteamPaper’s channel “SteamMedia.”

Reflections on a first Witchtober

Last month I took part in my first Witchtober, a variant of inktober. It’s not well past the end of the month and I wanted to finish the process off with a bit of reflection. My previous post on this subject explains how I got started and where the prompts I used came from.

Each day I managed to come up with some piece of art that reflected something of the prompts. Some days this was easier to do than others and as the month continued I grew more and more determined to complete the whole month. I didn’t have to complete it, there was no one I had made a deal with and nothing I would get for completing it but my own sense of accomplishment but still I grew increasingly determined as the month progressed.

Each day I had the opportunity to reflect on different images and ideas around witchcraft. I found that a very useful thing to do. I don’t consider myself to be a witch. I sometimes do things that fit under the heading of witchcraft but those things are not the main thrust of what I do. I am a polytheist druid and heathen and my practice revolves around two main strands; devotional activities for multiple deities and energy healing work (usually distance healing). So this month of activities around witches and witchcraft gave me a wonderful opportunity to reflect more deeply about what these things mean to me.

The other major benefit was in having a topic to try and produce art about each day. For most of my efforts during this month used coloured pencils or watercolour type paints but I also used modelling clay three times and wrote a poem for the Hedge Witch prompt. I didn’t have to try and come up with something I wanted to draw, paint or make, I just had to come up with a way of expressing the idea for that day. I really liked that. I’ve not done nearly as much art since I finished witchtober although part of that has been due to other things happening too. I’m looking into other prompt lists though as I enjoyed the process of having a prompt to think about and then express. I’d really love to have a similar set of prompts for druidry and heathenry as the process definitely helped me think more deeply. If any readers know of any such prompt lists or have ideas please do let me know!

Perhaps one aspect of inktober type projects that is most intended is that of developing your skills. The witchtober prompts pushed me to try things I probably wouldn’t have tried otherwise. I believe my art skills have developed as a result of that push. For example for one of the prompts, green witch, I drew hands with fingers in soil and used my own hands to try and get the right shape.

Picture of hands in soil done using water colours

For another prompt, crone witch, I attempted a self portrait. I never would have considered doing that otherwise.

Head and shoulders self portrait of me wearing a purple witch’s hat done in coloured pencils

Hands and faces are hard! But I did it and although I can see that there is a lot of scope for further improvement I’m also pleasantly surprised at how well I managed.

I also tried to come up with things that were a bit different like my spirit witch and bat.

Picture of a spirit distillation still with a witch’s hat in the foreground done in coloured pencils
Picture of a bat hanging upside down on a cricket bat done in pencils.

I’m really pleased and proud that I have completed my first witchtober. I’m grateful for the opportunities for thought, learning, and the sense of community I experienced because I was doing something that others were also doing. I’m also very grateful for all the supportive comments I received during this process.

Hopefully next year I will be able to join in with another witchtober!

Witchtober

Many of you will know about inktober where individuals are encouraged to draw something each day that fits a particular prompt. This year I’m joining in with a variant called Witchtober with prompts from @saffrussellart and @jacquilovesey. I’ve never done anything like this and I’ve had encouragement to give it a go from the ever wonderful Tom and Nimue Brown. 

I’ve been posting most of my efforts so far on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (mainly because my Instagram account is linked to my Facebook account). One effort, a poem has been posted on this blog.  For me this has become a multi media art project as my efforts have now included poetry, modelling clay, paint and pencil.

I’m finding the process of doing this to be fascinating. I look at the prompts well before I try and do anything and I think about how I can express the theme. As the day progresses I get to see what others have done too and if I haven’t come up with an idea that sometimes sparks something. 

The different prompts are making me think about different aspects of witchcraft and what it means to me. I like trying to come up with something a bit different if I can so it’s making me think deeply which is good. I’m also having fun creating a bit of art each day. I can see improvements in my skills too. 

I’m very grateful for what I’m learning in taking part in this Witchtober. 

For my Friends

I wish I could tell you
I'll fix this
For I hate to see you in pain.

I wish I could tell you 
I'll sort it
And make it better again.

I don't have the power
To mend this
But please don't suffer alone.

I can't wave a wand
And dispel it
Nor weave my spells as a crone.

But I'll listen to all
You share with me
As you fight to change your life.

And I'll cheer you on
From my corner
As you overcome each strife.

Sticking a label on it

For the last couple of years my path has gradually been changing. A lot of what I do in my personal practice is the same but there are newer elements. It all started when Loki came into my life. I now honour an increasing number of Heathen deities along with those from Celtic lands I have honoured for years.

Most Druids and Heathens honour ancestors and spirits of the land in some way. And in both communities if you ask a question you will get a multitude of answers – although Heathens will more often refer you to various written sources such as the Eddas and Sagas.

At the same time as these changes have been happening with my spiritual life I’ve also gradually become more confident about referring to myself as autistic in spite of being told that I didn’t fully meet “diagnostic criteria”. Yes, it still annoys me. Fortunately those that know me best, including my kids, as well as an assortment of adult autistic friends have recognised that I am autistic. I refer to it as being peer recognised.

I am still me. I am still Pauline, daughter of Siusaidh. I am also Potia Nighean a’Chailliche (the second part of that name I took in October 2019 as part of my promises to the Ancient One). I’m still a Hearth Druid and I’m proudly autistic. But now I’m adding a new label to my collection, I’ve fully accepted that I’m also Heathen.

Practicalities of a home retreat

I was asked elsewhere if I could write a bit more about the practicalities of doing a home retreat following on from my last post.  The simple answer is yes, the more complicated one is I can tell you what I did and what I learnt from it but this was something planned solely for me so various aspects may not transfer well to others.

The first thing I did after making the decision to have a home based retreat was to plan out what I could do and when. My first initial thoughts had been to just do a day but I felt this wouldn’t really give me enough time to really benefit from the whole process. I think I was right in that.  I decided to do a three day retreat. I felt that would be enough time to feel the benefit but not so much I would start having difficulties in focus while at home.  I didn’t get that quite right but life has ways of throwing up things you don’t anticipate.

Here is the plan I developed:

Aim: To reset mind, emotion and spirit in a busy world

Minimal technology use – no facebook or email checking. Meals to be eaten, and chores to be done, more mindfully. Reading to be spiritually focussed.

Planned daily routine

  1. Morning devotional mediation before breakfast honouring Brigantia
  2. Breakfast
  3. Morning prayer and chanting in honour of Maponnos
  4. Mindful chores
  5. Devotions to and communing with the Herd Mothers
  6. Lunch
  7. Devotions to and communing with the water beings
  8. Afternoon exercise – walking or yoga type stretching
  9. Reading or devotional craft work
  10. Mid afternoon devotions to and communing with Gofannon
  11. Reflection time – may include journaling or blogging
  12. Devotions to and communing with Loki
  13. Dinner
  14. Evening activities – could include reading, crafting or divination
  15. Late evening devotions to and communing with An Cailleach
  16. Bed

As you can see the routine above includes several periods of prayer/communing with different beings. These are the beings I have regular devotional practices with at the current time.

So that was the plan. It didn’t work out quite like that in practice although it wasn’t far off it. I learnt I made a pretty big mistake putting exercise in the early afternoon. It was too soon after lunch and I had to tweak that so I did some reading or craft work after my post lunch devotions in order to let my lunch digest a bit more before doing exercise.  I also usually ended up sitting down and doing a bit of reading after my chores and before doing my pre lunch devotions to the Herd Mothers partially to relax a bit physically after the chores and partially because I had more time available than I anticipated.

In addition to the devotions of the retreat routine I also felt I needed to incorporate my usual daily devotions which include a libation to the being/s I focus on that day.  The retreat devotions did not include libations or other physical offerings. As my retreat took place on a Tuesday to Thursday that meant the first day there was an evening devotional to Brigantia, the second day I honoured my ancestors and the third day I did my evening devotions to Gofannon.

I was pretty good at restricting my online time but I did have the odd quick look at facebook or emails if I was looking for something in particular, for example on Thursday, where I usually join a zoom singing session with Sing aLoud.

Thursday, the last day of the retreat was a more difficult day to keep the retreat focus going. There were a couple of unanticipated interruptions. One was a brief visit from my kids who were staying the week with their dad. Lovely to see them but unexpected and it knocked me off the routine a bit. The other was news from my husband family down south that his mum had taken a turn for the worse and she wanted to him to visit. We had known she wasn’t well but this sounded much worse. Fortunately travel restrictions in Scotland were just lifting and we decided to travel down that weekend to see her. If the travel restrictions hadn’t lifted I think we would have still gone anyway under the circumstances but we didn’t have to make that call. I still completed the retreat but as you can imagine my mind was much less focussed after that news. It did seem apt that I needed to work harder on a day where my daily devotions were honouring Gofannon who UPG tells me appreciates hard work and perseverance.

Things I missed from a home retreat included simply being somewhere else which can help in distancing yourself from your usual routines and interactions with other people. I’m lucky in having a pagan and Druid husband as talking bout some of the things I was reading or thinking about was helpful.  If I did this again I think I’d try and set up a zoom/skype session or two with others I could talk to and reflect on some of my retreat experiences with so probably fellow druid types.

Overall the home retreat did help me with a spiritual reset and I came out of it feeling more strongly connected with the beings I honour. I also came out of it with a desire to re-kindle the druid aspects of my path and signed up for the British Druid Order (BDO) distance bardic course.  I’m also trying to be a bit more active in the Scottish Druids Facebook Group I set up and admin.

Hopefully if you are considering doing some form of home retreat this will give you some ideas to consider in your own planning.