Today I was asked how you find your pagan path. At first I recommended reading up on the basics of the main paths and gave the example of the Pagan Federation site and seeing what sparked interest. Further discussion led to me trying to give an overview of modern druidry from the point of view of one who once said she walked in that forest but has now left. I was also asked what my path was now to which I replied that at present if pushed I would describe it as a Brythonic polytheist path.
I later said that at one time I thought I knew what path I was on but I didn’t really know and that doesn’t bother me at all. It has become less about the labels and the destinations and more about the journey. What matters to me most are the connections I make alonog the way. Everything changes, deny that and you deny a basic fact of existence but the relationships you build, the moments of sweet connection – that is where you will find the magic. And in the magic of those connections you can find such joy, such wonder that your life can be transformed anew.
I don’t know where my journey will lead me and I don’t really care anymore. It is the journey itself that has become the most important and each of us must find our own way on that journey. For a while though we can walk side by side or sit awhile and share the view.
I find it very difficult to explain in writing what I do believe but I am going to try.
Some years ago now I had what would best be called a vision while meditating to some music. In that vision I felt myself to be at the centre of all things with threads of golden light reaching out from me and flowing to me. Some of these threads moved in a straight line and others spiraled forming a web with me at the centre. At each point that the threads crossed each other was something like a flame and the more threads crossed at any point, the brighter the flame. This vision then changed in perspective and instead of being at the centre I was suddenly containing this web within me. I was both at it’s centre and holding it within me.
To me each of these threads symbolises an interaction with another life and each flame an individual being. The more I interact with a particular being the stronger that thread becomes and the more powerful an individual the stronger the light of the flame to my senses.
At a later date I had a follow on vision from this where I could, for want of a better term, zoom in and out with my perceptions of this web. As I normally see it you and I would be flames, more powerful spirits larger flames and gods would seem like a bonfire but a blade of grass or an insect would not really be visible excepts as a general background glow. When I altered my perception and zoomed in each blade of grass became a flame and you and I like bonfires with gods being like suns. Zooming out past my usual vision saw the gods as flames and us as the background glow.
In my normal vision of the web the gods are bonfires or even brighter, like stars. Just like people they can vary in strength of presence, just like us and every other species in this world, they are unique yet interconnected. How they come to be as bright as they are I’m not sure but part of it I think is the sheer number of threads flowing through that nexus point.
These vision experiences were both brief moments but for me incredibly profound. What has become more important to me are my interactions with that web, the threads of light connecting all things and yet allowing individuality and uniqueness within that web.
I see all existence as a web. I see individual beings as a point where threads meet and cross. I see interactions as the individual threads of the web.
The words of another seeker encouraged me to look at what principles are the most important to me. I had to do some thinking to figure this out but essentially there are three things that have guided me for much if not all of my life. These are Love, Truth and Duty.
The most important one of these for me is Love. If I was to use one statement to illustrate what I mean by this I would turn to the new testament of the Bible and borrow the phrase “Love thy neighbour as thyself”.
Truth is something I seek and try to live by. I do not mean just telling the truth as I see it but walking my talk – or at least trying to – in all I do. To me Truth can be a multi faceted gem, we see maybe one or two faces of it clearly but some is obscured and some reflected. My truth is not necessarily the complete truth or the only truth but in seeking to walk in truth I hope to learn more of others and for others to learn more of me.
Duty is another difficult thing to explain. By duty I do not mean to do my duty as others see it but to do my duty as I see it. To serve to the best of my ability those that I have chosen to serve. To balance my duty to myself with the duties I have chosen to take on for others. Duty and service are closely entwined for me.
These are the principles that I believe have guided me all my life and are likely to continue to guide me in the future.
I am going to use this place to record some of my thoughts and feelings about my spiritual journey. As a spiritual journey can touch all aspects of life there maybe posts about a wide range of things in the future but the journey will unfold as it will.
I am a polytheist pagan living and working in Scotland and I have been a pagan for just over a decade now. I’m a member of the Pagan Federation (Scotland) and of the Druid Network. At one stage I called myself a Druid but I no longer do that. I used to say I walked in the forest of druidry but I’m not sure I really do that now either. I am a member of Brython and I’m still exploring what that means to me. I am also a legal celebrant and have had the honour and priviledge of leading both weddings and funerals for members of the pagan community and others.
Let the journey continue.