Last time I wrote about setting intentions and I’ve had some success with what I had hoped to achieve.
I am continuing to go to the RDA Glasgow group. I’ve had some challenges with both my emotional state and things like back pain and colds which have meant missing the odd day but on the whole I’m managing ok. And I still love being there so that helps.
I am now singing almost every day again. Not always a more formal practice, sometimes it’s just a couple of things but very few days go by now without song in them again. This makes me feel good too. I sing for so many reasons. I sing for my gods, for comfort, for joy and for my ancestors. Sometimes I sing things I learnt when I was at school, sometimes things I’ve crafted and sometimes I sing without words letting the notes flow where they will.
The writing though hasn’t come back. I’m not even sure if I want it to. I have so many doubts about whether I really have anything to write that others will want to read. And yet there is so little out there written by polytheists. There is more that there used to be but often focussed on one particular deity or a particular path. I started my efforts to write a book last Samhain with the intent to write it bit at a time through the year. We are once more nearing Samhain and I’ve not managed to write a word on it since my mum died. I no longer know if I could start it again without feeling tears in my eyes. And yet not going back to it makes me feel like I’ve failed somehow.
I’ve finished two shawls that I started before mum died and I’ve finally made a tea cosy. I put off trying to knit one for a while as that was something mum had asked me to make her. I had found yarn I thought she would like and a pattern but hadn’t begun before she died. Last week I tried making my first tea cosy with the yarn I had got for my mum but I realised it wasn’t going to work with that yarn so I used something else instead but I did it. Knitting wasn’t something I wrote about in my intentions but it is good to be completing projects and trying new things again.