People ask me how I am and I don’t know how to reply. “I’m ok” I say or “I’m managing” but I’m not really. I go through the motions of living, sometimes I even laugh and have fun but I cry almost every day too. If people could see this pain it would look like wounds deep and bleeding, like my skin was mottled with bruises but they can’t see it. My chest hurts but it’s not a physical pain really, just loss, just grief. Just…
A couple of days ago I broke down. I wailed and moaned. I slapped my legs, scratched my face, my arms, pulled my hair banged my head against a cupboard door. Meltdown.
The marks faded on the outside.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This is us getting ready for my wedding two years ago.
I miss you so much mum, so much!