Change sometimes hurts

On Wednesday 23rd May my wonderful mum died.  Her death was swift and pain free and totally unexpected.  She had a massive stroke in the afternoon and died a few hours later in hospital with myself, my brother and my dad at her side.

Here are links to tributes.

Tribute published by Moon Books

Tribute published by Whyte Tracks Publishing

The day after she died my dad and I were looking for some paperwork and we came across a letter my mum had written dated 18 May this year and addressed to her next of kin. We don’t know what prompted her to write this letter but these are some of her words which were also read out during her funeral:

“I truly believe in a life after death, so don’t be sad, I will live on in a different format, as energy, as spirit and will return in time. I want you to wear your robes, sing, play your instruments, and tell stories of times we have shared.”

I was blessed with a close relationship with my mum, not a standard one though.  We were sometimes more like sisters, other times it was more like I was the parent.  We knew we had been together in previous lives. She had some past life regressions done and had some memories where I was included.  I didn’t have anything like that done but I knew we’d been together.  We knew that I had been her parent or a guardian in more lives than she had been in that position with me.

It comforts me to know these things.  I know deep within my soul that while we are parted physically now we won’t always be.  Maybe next time we will be siblings.  I know we won’t remember the details of our lives before including this one but the love we have for each other will draw us together again.  Of that I have no doubt.

But for now I cry.  The loss is raw and painful still.

Love you mum, so much.