There is an endless well of patience and calm I reach into for my children.
There is a deeper and stronger well of love.
Sometimes I don’t manage to connect with the well of calm,
I lose patience.
I yell and shout and my children cringe from the volume of my voice.
Not the words but the sound.
I cry in shame that I have lost my patience, my calm,
That my voice has hurt their ears.
I reach into that well of patience again and again for them.
I never have to reach into the well of love
For that flows up and out and fills every part of me.
When they are asleep I can no longer find the well of patience and calm.
I can not be calm for me.
I have no patience with my faults and mistakes.
Again I cry over my mistakes.
Again I cry in frustration at the challenges we face together.
I cry in fear, in tiredness, in pain.
I let go and lean on my love.
And then I stop crying.
I breath. I remember.
And the well of love flows through me
Leads me back to the well of calm and patience.
Lets me reach deep once more.